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Explosions Are Old, Abduct Things Instead!

By MrJenssen24-07-2013

Hey, I've got a riddle for you. What is purple and obnoxious, and is the only thing in the world that still doesn't understand that dub step is yesterday's news?

Ding ding ding! That's correct! Bobfish might want to flog me, the puny little Saints Row fanboy he is, but it's true. Dub step was annoying the day before it was created, and Volition don't seem to understand (or care) that it's worn out its welcoming days, long ago already.

Alright, so enough about that. Dub step might be yesterday's news, but what certainly isn't, is this brand new teaser trailer for a weapon, that just so happens to be featured in a game. It's not a teaser for the game, mind you. Just the weapon. An abduction weapon. Yep. It abducts things. Why? Well, in case you run out of rockets for your launcher, and just so happen to have an aggressive alien UFO standing idle nearby, and you need that filthy garbage truck removed from the spot where your pimp mobile clearly is supposed to rest.

This is only the third in a week-long series of teaser trailers for Saints Row 4, aptly titled "Hail to the Chief"-week. Expect new daily teasers to pop up, well, daily throughout the week.

Also, according to an official statement, Saints Row 4 has just gone gold - i.e. they're done with the game, and are sadistically holding off on releasing it to immature boymen everywhere until the official release date; August 23. August 20, for those who live in the US. Of course, there will also be a season pass, and tons of DLCs for it. We're talking about published Deep Silver here after all, the new kings of DLC-oversaturation. The official press release states the following:

"Included in the Season Pass is the Director's Cut of the previously announced "Enter the Dominatrix" DLC,  a tongue-in-cheek vision of what this content was originally going to be like, along with a second mission pack coming in late 2013. Season Passes will be available for purchase on all platforms and include  upcoming add-on content worth more than EUR 15 / £ 12."

Well, that should be all you need to know. So start saving money! Deep Silver won't be satisfied until you take out a fifth mortgage on everything you've ever owned.

Comments (3)
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Posts: 3290

Too much beer and hookers

Posts: 1317

Jim Boone. He works for Volition. Volition works on Saints Row. Why hasn't he changed his name to Jim Boner yet?

Posts: 3290

Pfft. You just jelly that I was shooting the shit with Jim Boone