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Postal 2

By Doubleplus01-11-2014
Bis18marck70 (editor)
StuntmanLT (editor)
Postal 2

The Defence

Running With Scissors
Running With Scissors
Adventure, Shooter
Release Date:

The Prosecution

Intel Core 2 Duo 2.4 GHZ
AMD equivalent
Nvidia GeForce 8600
AMD equivalent
2 GB
5 GB

Content Warning: Some readers may find the subject matter and graphic nature of this game shocking. Reader discretion is advised


With the recent hubbub surrounding Hatred, I figured now would be as good a time as ever to give a retro review to the king of controversy, and one of my all-time favorite games, Postal 2. Why? Because with most purposely controversial games, you can just strip out the controversial aspects and you are left with nothing but a generic and boring game. With Postal 2, however, you can't strip out the controversial aspects without ripping out its very soul. To this day, it remains a giant middle finger to anyone who thinks violent or politically incorrect video games should be banned.

Try to read this without giggling like a middle schooler. Just TRY it.

Try to read this without giggling like a middle schooler. Just TRY it.

The thing Postal 2 does RIGHT is the fact it realizes that being a dick in a game is most fun when you are given the option NOT to be a dick. Take Dark Souls for instance. Would invading a new player and backstabbing them as their “Welcome to Dark Souls” present be nearly as fun if the game FORCED you to do so? No, it’s fun because not only are you actively making the decision to make someone’s life just that worse, but the fact that you could be helping them kill a boss. That’s why it’s more fun, say killing everyone in a town in Fallout: New Vegas than it is mowing down person after person in a regular FPS.

Postal 2 captures this feeling flawlessly by not telling you “kill everyone to progress.” Instead, it plops you in its world that is a silly caricature of our own, gives you a list of (literal) chores to do and says “Go nuts.” All you need to do is complete those chores, at no time being required to kill ANYONE, while the game eggs you on, subtly and sometimes not-so-subtly, to pull out a gun and just go on a rampage. The game also has a multitude of ways to complete these chores, both lethal and non-lethally. Do you wait in a long line at the bank, waiting patiently as a loud clock tic-toc’s right in your ear, or do you pull out a handgun, fight your way through the bank, steal the money in the vault and proceed to slaughter your way through the police? Or do you just take the bank’s secret escape tunnel? Or, for those that like this sort of thing, do you just urinate on everyone waiting in line, hoping a cop doesn't see you, then take your place at the front of the line? Do you wait in line to pay for your milk? Or attempt to walk out without paying, set off the ludicrous security system and fight your way through a secret terrorist hangout located in the back of the store?

`You're welcome, my son.`

`You're welcome, my son.`

Postal 2 also pulls off the atmosphere that the later Grand Theft Auto series forgot and later Saints Row games tried way too hard to recreate. With the crazy world you are in, and Postal Dude’s (Yes, that’s his name) frequent and hilarious one-liners, you feel less like a psychopathic spree killer and more like Dennis the Menace as you commit all sorts of atrocities involving guns, blades, fire, cats, scissors, diseased cow heads and gallons of your own urine. Then, once you beat the game and unlock enhanced mode, the game becomes even more ridiculous as you piss napalm, use your shovel to fly, send out swarms of boomerang machetes, and find much, much, MUCH more weapons.

Postal 2 is a game that will always have a place in my heart. From the first time I picked up and entered the crazy world of Paradise City for the first time several years ago, I was in love with this game. The devs are awesome and the game still gets updates to this very day and goes on sale very often. So I not only recommend, but IMPLORE you to pick this game up and try it for yourself. Then watch the movie, because it’s hilarious.

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Posts: 3290

And don't forget there';s an option to turn every townsperson into Gary Coleman