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No Pineapple Left Behind

By BloodyFanGirl13-04-2015

How do you like your satire? With a surrealistic edge? With pineapples? Well, have we found the game for you!

No Pineapple Left Behind is a school simulation game where all of the children have been turned into pineapple by an evil wizard. Yeah. Things end up working out pretty well for the teachers and the principal (that's you) though as it turns out that pineapples are devoid of tricky things like 'personality', 'feelings' or 'needs', unlike children. Pineapples are quite content to take endless tests and the more good grades the precocious produce receive, the more money the school gets. BUT BE WARNED! If you leave a pineapple too long unattended it will turn back into a child...and that'll mess up your fruit bowl something awful. As someone with strong opinions about the current flagging UK education system, I know I'll get a kick out of this. Check out the alpha trailer above.

No Pineapple Left Behind was inspired by one of the developer's old teaching job and satirises "modern education and the tireless pursuit to create the perfect student body." You play as the principal and it is up to you to...

"-Manage the school's curriculums, students and staff without going bankrupt.
-Dehumanize the children, turning them into orderly pineapples. Or...
-Deal with the complications of human children, for potentially better grades.
-Address parental concerns or maybe ignore them altogether.
-Lump the bad students together, expel them or even lie about their grades.
-Maintain a small staff of top-tier teachers or a large group of burned-out, underpaid teachers."

The game is currently being developed by Subaltern Games (that have now amassed a team of five people that 'aim to change the world'), published by Mastertronic (who also brought you The Shop Keeper) and the official facebook page for the game can be found here. Watch this space for more details as they are released.

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What, the, actual fuck?!